One main reason that holds you from success in life is self-doubt.
It is a persuasive inner-voice that prevents you from taking appropriate action, reducing your confidence and lowering your self-esteem.
The voice convinces you to think twice about seizing an opportunity. While there is an advantage to thinking twice before taking action in some circumstances, self-doubt will have you continuously procrastinating.
It derails you from achieving your goals and sits you uncomfortably within your comfort-zone.
Believe me, I’ve been there and occasionally still have to fight off these demons. Self-doubt is a self-limiting belief that dwells in the subconscious mind.
Too often it provides inaccurate perceptions of circumstances and of self, and delivers these unhelpful messages at the most inappropriate times.
Here are some ways to overcome the self-doubt demon:
1. Stop The Negative Thinking
Don’t let your fears and doubts materialize into sentences (negative affirmations), as once this happens it becomes harder to remove, as these feelings become hard-wired in your subconscious.
Strive to disrupt the doubtful thoughts and check your conversations and language…consider this a big warning.
By the time you start speaking negative words, it means that you have convinced and directed your mind and all your energy towards fear and impossibilities.
It is at an advanced stage, which you are responsible for. Cut the negative feelings the moment they emerge.
Negative thoughts are bound to come, especially when you are going through tough times. We all experience hard times in life, but the difference is how far we let these negative thoughts consume us and dictate are inactions.
Sometimes the quickest way out of this problem is to give encouraging and supportive attention to another person experiencing similar feelings.
You will often find that by supporting another person in this way, your own questions are answered and a roadmap out of this problem gets created.
2. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
Comparison is the major source of self-doubt. Everyone has different goals and priorities in life…and different capabilities.
Striving to be like someone else can leave you feeling frustrated, inadequate and jealous…jealousy being the main vehicle for self-destruction.
Please note that this is not the same as copying some of the habits of successful people, which is important for self-development!
What I’m referring to is comparing your life and achievements with those people around you, especially using the world of social media as a means of validation.
Often what you see, especially on these platforms, is false. Behind closed doors a complete different story revealed.
Believe me, I’ve seen this far too often…and so have you. Instead of focusing on other people’s success, compare your previous achievements with your current goals and ask yourself the question, “am I moving in the right direction that suits me and the life I wish to attain?”
Focus on how far you have come and appreciate the journey, the processes in between and the milestones accomplished.
As long as you are moving forward it is growth, no matter how small the step.
3. Don’t Worry About What Other People Think
Self-doubt remains strengthened if you constantly worry about how you are perceived by your colleagues, friends or relatives.
Don’t always base your decisions and actions for the approval of others, for not everyone has good intentions for you, nor wish you well in your endeavors.
Be mindful of this. Instead, try and develop your intuition until it becomes reliable enough for you to follow without hesitation.
Set SMART goals and focus not only on the objectives, but the process.
Fine-tune the process if you find yourself deviating off track. If you must listen to external voices, pick carefully the beneficial ones whom have successfully experienced a similar journey and are trusted by your intuition.
4. Reflection
Take time to reflect and evaluate any past difficulties in your life that may have triggered your self-doubt.
Were your friends, colleagues or family members supportive during these times, or were some of them causing the difficulties? Have you experienced a difficult relationship, an unsupportive boss or friend?
All these things can trigger discouragement and self-doubt as you question your actions during these times, finding faults with your decisions, performances, judgments and blaming yourself for the results.
You must be absolutely honest with your self and determine whether you were actually to blame for these past difficulties. If you were to blame, then you will have to own it, and devise a plan that will prevent you from displaying the behaviors that repeat the events.
If you are not to blame, then you may have to look carefully at the people that surround you. This may mean changing jobs, your friends, keeping away from negative people and most importantly, surrounding yourself with confident and productive people…find your tribe! It will rub off on you.
Self-doubt is a major hindrance to personal growth in all aspects of life. Consider the above tips to help overcome your self-doubts and grow as you were created to.
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